Having stayed in India for 25 years at a stretch makes it very difficult for me to adjust to the lifestyle in the US. I moved here in October 2006 and my first few months were terrific. I simply loved the beauty and the perfection here. But after six months, perfection became a bane. Everything looked the same. There was no variety. Minneapolis, Minnesota and Dublin in Ohio looked the same. Roads were clean, malls were spic and span, everything was beautiful. People greeted you when they passed. It was amazing. Never seen this kind of beauty and chivalry anywhere in India. But perfection is boring, so boring that it can lead to depression for weak minded people. I had a few friends, but non my age. I tried to mix with them and realized thankfully i can get along. They helped me a lot during this phase. I can call it identity crisis. I was a nobody. I was not earning and i began to hate that about myself. Depending on someone to drive me to a store or buy me stuff. It was demeaning. I had been working since my college days and always had my own money as pocket money, so depending on anybody for anything was a shocker. Before i emerged from my first shock i realized i am expecting a baby. That was a bigger shock. This shock rendered me numb for about a week. I refused to meet people or talk to anyone. But soon i came out of that and accepted what life had in store for me. Maybe this is what was planned for me. All this apart i never really fell in love with this country. I always craved for the complications that life had in India, wanted to play holi with my neighbors, wanted to attend the Durga Puja in Kolkata and listen to sound of the DHAAK. I missed all that and still do. I missed seeing 100's of people around me all the time. I hated the silence around me, i hated the lack of social interaction. In short i hated my life in US. Everything was routine. Wake up at 8, clean, cook, hit the gym / pool , go to the grocery store and watch lots of TV. This is what it was day after day. Life changed after i had the baby. I spend most of my time caring for him. I liked that and he needed me , so it was two way. Today after 4 years, i still miss India, i still miss the colours of my country but somewhere deep down i think i have learnt to accept my new ways of life. I miss people, but i am fine without them, I miss family and friends back home, but then i am fine without them. Social life is negligible, but again i am fine with that. I have conformed to the new life. But i will still be happier in India, but then again I am FINE HERE. Sometimes, when i feel it i get emotional, but when my mind forces me not to think i am alright. I think slowly and steadily i am undergoing what you call metamorphosis. This is what four years has done to me, what is in store for the rest of my stay here i don't know. Just want it to be a memorable one.
INDIA, WITH ALL YOUR FLAWS I STILL LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU
My ode to my country in lieu of Independence day
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