Having a child? Are you nervous? Are you anxious ? Well, most have mixed feelings like me.
Till you have it you will never know what having a child can do to your life. Before you have child you probably feel, its going to change your life for the worse. I had the same feelings. I remember writing mails to my friend saying, i can never realize my dreams i can never do things i want to do. But you know what, once Shaayan was born, he just changed my life and for the better. I have never been loved before the way he loves me. In fact simply writing this blog, i am finding it extremely difficult to pen down my feelings. Its a feeling that can never be described. Its just a feeling you carry in your arms.
Well to start with when he was born I was very disappointed. I never knew little babies only sleep and poop and sleep more and poop more... there is nothing more to them. Worst of all they sleep through the day and remain awake through the night! I was shocked... I thought i will be able to play with him. I thought he would crawl and giggle and be silly. But he just slept!!! This was not my idea of a baby. I have seen babies in my life, all cute ones who would respond to you and laugh and make cute faces. Never seen a baby like Shaayan. I had to talk in whispers because my mother said, we should let the sleeping baby sleep. Imagine my situation dim lights through the day, talking in whispers. No i was not enjoying this. But soon Shaayan turned a month old and he started sleeping at night and being awake in the morning. Life was getting better.
Today he is the handsomest dude who loves me and 'does not like me' unconditionally. He is only the who can tell me "I dont like you" and still deserve a huge hug from me. He drives me mad and he makes me laugh... he is full on in - house entertainment. He accompanies me to the gym, quietly entertaining himself while i am busy losing weight, he does yoga with me, he plays by himself when i feel under the weather. Best part is he tries to protect me from monsters!!! What more can i want? I feel safe and i feel loved when he is around me. If i scold him, he will come crying to me, If his dad scolds him, he will still come crying to me. How sweet is that!
When he is naughty I can give him a time out after counting 3. He comes to me in the morning with a big bright sunshine "GOOD MORNING MAMMA" so even if i have slept for just 5 hours I wake up and play with him ( try to sleep another time ;-) )
All said and done, this guy drives me mad when he is stubborn, but really who am i to complain. If i rewind, i ll see my mothers horrifying experience raising two kids. If she said A, I would do B. If she said B, I would do A. This was me and this is me even today. If my child is following my footsteps I'd be very worried, but i know i have no choice.
I know every parent loves his/her child and feels they are the best. But thats what parents are... we are emotional fools when it comes to our children. We give them in numerable time outs and after every time out we hug them and kiss them, saying "Its OK, just don't do it next time"
Shaayan is going to school soon, and being the extrovert he is I am sure he will make lots of friends. I just hope going forward he makes a good number of right friends. The kind that I have, the kind you can trust.
He is turning 3 soon. Time flies!!!
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