In 2009, my mother was diagnosed with lung tumour which turned out to be cancerous. I do not live anywhere close to her. It broke my heart to be not around her when she probably needed me most. In some ways, it has made me stronger in all my relationships today. In a positive way or a negative way i do not know. So going back in time, november 2009 she underwent a thoracotomy and soon completed all her doses of chemo. I am a positive person and somewhere i would like to believe i have some positive energy flow within. Never did i think anything would happen to my mom. I had no clue about the severity of the procedure. It was post operation i knew what had happened and what all could have gone wrong. Speaking to her over the phone after her operation was killing. Her feeble voice, her easily tiring self, she was just not herself. Everyday i went through hell thinking about her. How does one deal with such a situation? It was like my big fight with cancer. Now days, i cant even face or talk to a person who is or has a kin suffering from this disease. I cannot watch a movie with this theme. I am currently working for a magazine which at times requires me to review good movies. Once i sat down to review WIT, i failed. I just could not get myself to watch this film about a woman suffering from ovarian cancer waiting for death to arrive. Any mention of cancer sets my heart pounding faster and faster.
My mother, who i love dearly ( we all love our mothers needless to say ) is well now and is waiting for me to visit her and she is looking forward to spend good fun time with my family. I hope my battle is over too.
There are certain things that happen to people, which changes a certain personality trait of the person. Everything is not for all to view, somethings are so intrinsic even the person undergoing the slow change doesnt realise it. We battle these emotions on a daily basis, i just wish to triumph over them and be clean of these fears.
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