Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Battle with Cancer
In 2009, my mother was diagnosed with lung tumour which turned out to be cancerous. I do not live anywhere close to her. It broke my heart to be not around her when she probably needed me most. In some ways, it has made me stronger in all my relationships today. In a positive way or a negative way i do not know. So going back in time, november 2009 she underwent a thoracotomy and soon completed all her doses of chemo. I am a positive person and somewhere i would like to believe i have some positive energy flow within. Never did i think anything would happen to my mom. I had no clue about the severity of the procedure. It was post operation i knew what had happened and what all could have gone wrong. Speaking to her over the phone after her operation was killing. Her feeble voice, her easily tiring self, she was just not herself. Everyday i went through hell thinking about her. How does one deal with such a situation? It was like my big fight with cancer. Now days, i cant even face or talk to a person who is or has a kin suffering from this disease. I cannot watch a movie with this theme. I am currently working for a magazine which at times requires me to review good movies. Once i sat down to review WIT, i failed. I just could not get myself to watch this film about a woman suffering from ovarian cancer waiting for death to arrive. Any mention of cancer sets my heart pounding faster and faster.
My mother, who i love dearly ( we all love our mothers needless to say ) is well now and is waiting for me to visit her and she is looking forward to spend good fun time with my family. I hope my battle is over too.
There are certain things that happen to people, which changes a certain personality trait of the person. Everything is not for all to view, somethings are so intrinsic even the person undergoing the slow change doesnt realise it. We battle these emotions on a daily basis, i just wish to triumph over them and be clean of these fears.
My mother, who i love dearly ( we all love our mothers needless to say ) is well now and is waiting for me to visit her and she is looking forward to spend good fun time with my family. I hope my battle is over too.
There are certain things that happen to people, which changes a certain personality trait of the person. Everything is not for all to view, somethings are so intrinsic even the person undergoing the slow change doesnt realise it. We battle these emotions on a daily basis, i just wish to triumph over them and be clean of these fears.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Honor Killing?
Sunita and Jasbar Singh
Year: 2008
Month: January, 2010
BALLA, India (Reuters) - Five armed men burst into the small room and courtyard at dawn, just as 21-year-old, 22-week pregnant, Sunita was drying her face on a towel.
They punched and kicked her stomach as she called out for her sleeping boyfriend "Jassa", 22-year-old Jasbir Singh, witnesses said. When he woke, both were dragged into waiting cars, driven away and strangled.
Their bodies, half-stripped, were laid out on the dirt outside Sunita's father's house for all to see, a sign that the family's "honor" had been restored by her cold-blooded murder.
A week later, the village of Balla, just a couple of hours drive from India's capital New Delhi, stands united behind the act, proud, defiant almost to a man.
Among the Jat caste of the conservative northern state of Haryana, it is taboo for a man and woman of the same village to marry. Although the couple were not related, they were seen in this deeply traditional society as brother and sister.
"From society's point of view, this is a very good thing," said 62-year-old farmer Balwan Arya, sitting smoking a hookah in the shade of a tree in a square with other elders from the village council or panchayat. "We have removed the blot."
Growing economic opportunities for young people and lower castes in Haryana have made "love marriages" more common, experts say, and the violent repression of them has risen in tandem as upper caste Jat men fight to hold on to power, status and property.
Sunita's father Om Prakash has confessed to murdering his pregnant daughter and her boyfriend, police told Reuters. An uncle and two cousins were among four others arrested.
But in Balla many people believe the father confessed merely to underline that he supported his daughter's killing, to satisfy honor and protect the real culprits among his family or village.
At their house, Sunita's mother did not emerge to talk. Instead, a young man on a motorbike tried to intimidate the Reuters team into leaving. It turned out he was another of Sunita's cousins, his father and brother held by police.
"We are not ashamed of it, absolutely not, we have the honor of doing the village proud," he said.
"We would not have had a face to show if we had not done this. It was the act of 'real men'."
THE POWER OF UPPER CASTE MEN
The relatively prosperous northern state of Haryana is one of India's most conservative when it comes to caste, marriage and the role of women. Deeply patriarchal, caste purity is paramount and marriages are arranged to sustain the status quo.
Men and women are still murdered across the villages of northern India for daring to marry outside their caste, but in Haryana the practice is widespread, and widely supported.
Here, women veil their faces with scarves in public. The illegal abortion of female fetuses is common, the ratio of women to men in Haryana just 861 to 1,000, the lowest in the country.
Anyone who transgresses social codes, by marrying across caste boundaries or within the same village, is liable to meet the same fate as Sunita and Jasbir.
Many such murders are never reported, hardly any result in prosecution, says Professor Javeed Alam, chairman of the Indian Council of Social Science Research.
"People from the same village are treated as siblings in Haryana," he said. "So this is treated as incest."
Without any law to prohibit this kind of marriage, "the only way you can punish it is by taking the law into your own hands. People believe people who commit incest should be killed".
Nor do politicians ever renounce the practice, Alam added, because if they did, "they would not win elections".
And the legalization of property rights for women in 1956 made love marriages within a village even more dangerous for this elite, as daughters living close to home could in theory claim a part of the family land, sociologist Prem Chowdhry says.
CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS
Sunita and Jasbir, sweethearts in the same class at school, had little chance. When he left school a couple of years before her to become an photographer's apprentice, he would often hang around at the school gates to collect her.
She was married off to another man, but left her husband to elope with Jasbir a year-and-a-half ago, and while the families tried to keep them apart, they realized it was a losing battle.
"They were madly in love even to the last day," said Jasbir's 16-year-old sister-in-law Lalita in the house where they lived in Machhroli village, around 35 km (20 miles) by road from Balla.
To make matters worse, Jasbir was from a lower sub-caste, and she was pregnant outside marriage. Sunita's parents in Balla found themselves virtually ostracized.
"Nobody would drink water in our house," Sunita's mother Roshni is reported to have said. "My daughter's action made us aliens in our own land. But we have managed to redeem our honor. She paid for her ill-gotten action."
But among Jasbir's family, split between Machhroli and Balla, grief is mixed with fear.
"Why are you talking to the media?" shouted a female family member at one point. "This will only bring more trouble."
At the small police post in Balla, a constable admitted the case was unlikely to ever reach prosecution, with the village putting enormous pressure on the police, and especially Jasbir's family, to quietly drop the case.
"We are being pressurized into reaching an agreement, a compromise, without even being given time to grieve," said Jasbir's 25-year-old sister Neelam. "We have been told that if we don't compromise, we will suffer the same fate."
In the narrow alleyway outside their tiny house, women wailed in grief. A few hundred yards away, the panchayat sat in quiet self-satisfaction.
"The people who have done this should get an award for it," said 48-year-old Satvir Singh. "This was a murder of morality."
Source: Reuters UK
Courtesy :http://www.stop-stoning.org/en/node/452
Year: 2008
Month: January, 2010
BALLA, India (Reuters) - Five armed men burst into the small room and courtyard at dawn, just as 21-year-old, 22-week pregnant, Sunita was drying her face on a towel.
They punched and kicked her stomach as she called out for her sleeping boyfriend "Jassa", 22-year-old Jasbir Singh, witnesses said. When he woke, both were dragged into waiting cars, driven away and strangled.
Their bodies, half-stripped, were laid out on the dirt outside Sunita's father's house for all to see, a sign that the family's "honor" had been restored by her cold-blooded murder.
A week later, the village of Balla, just a couple of hours drive from India's capital New Delhi, stands united behind the act, proud, defiant almost to a man.
Among the Jat caste of the conservative northern state of Haryana, it is taboo for a man and woman of the same village to marry. Although the couple were not related, they were seen in this deeply traditional society as brother and sister.
"From society's point of view, this is a very good thing," said 62-year-old farmer Balwan Arya, sitting smoking a hookah in the shade of a tree in a square with other elders from the village council or panchayat. "We have removed the blot."
Growing economic opportunities for young people and lower castes in Haryana have made "love marriages" more common, experts say, and the violent repression of them has risen in tandem as upper caste Jat men fight to hold on to power, status and property.
Sunita's father Om Prakash has confessed to murdering his pregnant daughter and her boyfriend, police told Reuters. An uncle and two cousins were among four others arrested.
But in Balla many people believe the father confessed merely to underline that he supported his daughter's killing, to satisfy honor and protect the real culprits among his family or village.
At their house, Sunita's mother did not emerge to talk. Instead, a young man on a motorbike tried to intimidate the Reuters team into leaving. It turned out he was another of Sunita's cousins, his father and brother held by police.
"We are not ashamed of it, absolutely not, we have the honor of doing the village proud," he said.
"We would not have had a face to show if we had not done this. It was the act of 'real men'."
THE POWER OF UPPER CASTE MEN
The relatively prosperous northern state of Haryana is one of India's most conservative when it comes to caste, marriage and the role of women. Deeply patriarchal, caste purity is paramount and marriages are arranged to sustain the status quo.
Men and women are still murdered across the villages of northern India for daring to marry outside their caste, but in Haryana the practice is widespread, and widely supported.
Here, women veil their faces with scarves in public. The illegal abortion of female fetuses is common, the ratio of women to men in Haryana just 861 to 1,000, the lowest in the country.
Anyone who transgresses social codes, by marrying across caste boundaries or within the same village, is liable to meet the same fate as Sunita and Jasbir.
Many such murders are never reported, hardly any result in prosecution, says Professor Javeed Alam, chairman of the Indian Council of Social Science Research.
"People from the same village are treated as siblings in Haryana," he said. "So this is treated as incest."
Without any law to prohibit this kind of marriage, "the only way you can punish it is by taking the law into your own hands. People believe people who commit incest should be killed".
Nor do politicians ever renounce the practice, Alam added, because if they did, "they would not win elections".
And the legalization of property rights for women in 1956 made love marriages within a village even more dangerous for this elite, as daughters living close to home could in theory claim a part of the family land, sociologist Prem Chowdhry says.
CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS
Sunita and Jasbir, sweethearts in the same class at school, had little chance. When he left school a couple of years before her to become an photographer's apprentice, he would often hang around at the school gates to collect her.
She was married off to another man, but left her husband to elope with Jasbir a year-and-a-half ago, and while the families tried to keep them apart, they realized it was a losing battle.
"They were madly in love even to the last day," said Jasbir's 16-year-old sister-in-law Lalita in the house where they lived in Machhroli village, around 35 km (20 miles) by road from Balla.
To make matters worse, Jasbir was from a lower sub-caste, and she was pregnant outside marriage. Sunita's parents in Balla found themselves virtually ostracized.
"Nobody would drink water in our house," Sunita's mother Roshni is reported to have said. "My daughter's action made us aliens in our own land. But we have managed to redeem our honor. She paid for her ill-gotten action."
But among Jasbir's family, split between Machhroli and Balla, grief is mixed with fear.
"Why are you talking to the media?" shouted a female family member at one point. "This will only bring more trouble."
At the small police post in Balla, a constable admitted the case was unlikely to ever reach prosecution, with the village putting enormous pressure on the police, and especially Jasbir's family, to quietly drop the case.
"We are being pressurized into reaching an agreement, a compromise, without even being given time to grieve," said Jasbir's 25-year-old sister Neelam. "We have been told that if we don't compromise, we will suffer the same fate."
In the narrow alleyway outside their tiny house, women wailed in grief. A few hundred yards away, the panchayat sat in quiet self-satisfaction.
"The people who have done this should get an award for it," said 48-year-old Satvir Singh. "This was a murder of morality."
Source: Reuters UK
Courtesy :http://www.stop-stoning.org/en/node/452
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Stereotyping women
This outburst has been encouraged by another friend of mine who recently complained of being asked a very funny ( read weird ) question. "Do you go to temple?" "How do you believe in god and pujas, when you love to drink and party?"... I mean what the heck was the guy thinking and which century is he living in? Just because u drink and dance and are a total party animal, you are not supposed to be religious? I am not saying being religious is a good thing or a bad thing... its a personal choice... no harm if you are not... but being religious is not for sure connected with having a little fun and getting drunk at occasions. Why is this question not asked to men? Lot of men drink and they are brahmins who sometimes do pujas at homes as well...Is that ok? If that is ok then why not for women... Seriously men have this bad habit of stereotyping and judging people and especially woman... if a married woman is friendly with a guy, it is seen as a wrong thing..or maybe the married woman has problems with her husband... why cant she be happily married and yet have a male friend? is that seriously abnormal in todays world. I talk a lot and i talk to men and women alike... it does not mean i dont love my husband! I love him, but i need my friends and my space as well... and friends could be men or women... how the hell does the sex of the friend matter... If i dress up well and have male friends am i supposed to be loose? No you idiotic jerks no... just because i talk to you does not mean i like you... i am just friendly with you as i am with everyone...and i ( read any woman ) dont dress up for you but for myself... i feel confident when i dress up well... i dont do this to entice your stupid self... i really feel disgusted when certain kind of men ( mostly those who havent had any healthy platonic relationships with girls ) start passing loose remarks... in fact i feel sorry for them...they have never known friendship then... they just have a wife and few kids and thats what their life has been and shall be for the rest of their lives... they are unfortunate... but then dont rub your bad fortune on us... these kind of men please stay away from me.. and all my smart/pretty/intelligent friends... cos we dont need you...maybe you guys just dont understand that we women have several ROOPS...we can be a party animal, a responsible mother/wife, a caring sister and a loving daughter...you unfortunate souls can just be ONE OF THE ABOVE ( Male version ) and can never be ALL OF THE ABOVE
Nature’s gift to us
Mother earth has provided us with a lot of natural resources. And most of these resources are already being used for various purposes. Honey is one of them. Honey, collected by honey bees and used by us, is not only beneficial when consumed but mighty valuable when used as a skin care product. It can be used for caring for everyday skin conditions as well as for treatment of various skin problems.
My research on honey did not start until I began writing this article. But honey has been a part of my cabinet ever since my mother advised me to apply honey daily. This was when I was in college and any artificial skin care product would make my face go all red. Honey came to my rescue. It is only now, that I am a mother myself I think why do we use honey and why does it help?
Honey has been a part of skin care regime for centuries now. It has been used for several centuries for healing wounds. Cleopatra used honey and milk for her bath to keep her looking youthful. Honey is used in skin care as a moisturizer and anti-irritant. How is that you may ask? Although honey is 40% fructose and 30% glucose the PH 3-4 acidic level of Honey prohibits the growth and reproduction of any kind of microorganism on the skin which is probably why honey is so widely used in different skin care products.
If this was not enough, honey is also a natural humectant which means it has an ability to attract moisture and hold it. Apply it on your face one day and see the difference. Another great quality of honey is that it has an amazing shelf life. That means you can preserve it for longer periods of time than any other product. Does that mean people like me with oily skin cannot use it? Well no, its humectant quality makes it good for us too. It keeps the skin moist without making it oily.
Honey is full of vitamins, anti oxidants and amino acids which is why it is widely used in different facial masks.
You can make your own facial mask at home by using honey as a main ingredient. Mix a teaspoon of honey with half teaspoon of lemon juice. This will soothe the skin and cleanse it too. Or simply apply honey everyday on your face and neck and wash it with water after 20 minutes. This acts as a natural moisturizer.
Honey is full of vitamins, anti oxidants and amino acids which is why it is widely used in different facial masks.
You can make your own facial mask at home by using honey as a main ingredient. Mix a teaspoon of honey with half teaspoon of lemon juice. This will soothe the skin and cleanse it too. Or simply apply honey everyday on your face and neck and wash it with water after 20 minutes. This acts as a natural moisturizer.
You will not believe it but even today, if you talk to the previous generation you will discover they still have a bottle of honey in their closet and they use it almost daily. How else do you think our grand moms remained young for a longer time and we start ageing at 30? Try honey, I know I will.
Let us get a little more comfortable with the many ways that honey can be used as a skin care product
Honey as moisturizer:
Honey as moisturizer:
Due to its humectant qualities, it is used in moisturizers, cleansers, creams, shampoos and conditioners. It does not only attract water but it retains it in skin. If skin loses its ability to retain moisture then it appears wrinkled and dry. In this way if you use honey it will prevent wrinkles and dryness. It maintains skin suppleness and elasticity.
Honey as antioxidant:
Honey was always famous for its natural anti-oxidant properties. This property plays an important role in protecting the skin damage from ultraviolet light of sun. Over exposure of skin to the ultra violet light of sun causes skin damage, premature aging and even skin cancer. Other sun screen lotion can cause skin irritation. We should ideally have honey in all the sunscreen lotions. I am sure product developers are working on this. Since we don’t have a sunscreen with honey yet, I think we should simply apply honey on the exposed skin after returning from a hot day in the sun. The use of honey after sun exposure will considerably reduce age spots on your face too. For now, botox can wait a while.
A few home remedies of Honey:
· Take 1 peeled cored apple and 1 tablespoon of honey and blend it in food processor until smooth. Apply mixture on face for 15 minutes and wash it off.
· Take 1 table spoon of honey, 1 tablespoon of finely ground almonds, 2 tablespoons of dry oatmeal, some lemon juice or yogurt. Apply this paste to your face and massage it gently then rinse it with warm water. It acts as a facial scrub.
· For silky and luscious skin, add 1/4 cup of honey to your hot bath water.
Honey as natural remedy for various skin problems:
Honey is very effective to cure much medical disease. It is very effective for burns, pressure sores, surgical incisions, acne, and more.
Honey and skin care is a great combination! A sweet way to keep age at bay
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SICK BEE?
In the ancient times, honey had been used for several purposes, one of them being contraception. Hearing this I can only chuckle quietly. Had I known that using honey will keep me from being “MUMMIFIED” I would have probably used that as a literally sweet technique to keep naughty kids at bay. Well it doesn’t matter; today I can proudly say I am the mother of the cutest kid ever. I could not have gotten a better one. Keeping that in mind let me also add here that in ancient Egypt honey was used to preserve the dead (MUMMY). Coming back to the point, other than contraception and mummification, honey was also used to treat small pox, eye disease and indigestion. However these are yet unsupported by scientific evidence. In spite of this why is honey considered to be very good for health? This was a question that bothered me a lot. Come on now Honey is sweet after all. What do they say about eating sweets? It’s just bad calories you add on.
Well no, “Honey prohibits the growth and reproduction of any kind of microorganism”. Isn’t that a little surprising, did we not know that microbes love to grow and reproduce on sweet surfaces? And did you know Honey is 40% fructose and 30% glucose? Well high levels of sugar would have attracted microbes but the presence of acid in honey prohibits their growth. The pH level of honey is commonly between 3.2 and 4.5. Another insightful statement that I can make here is honey diluted with water will give you hydrogen peroxide, which again many of us keep in our medicine closet don’t we! Diluted honey when administered to a person kills a lot of bad microbes present in the person’s body meaning “hydrogen peroxide which is created through chemical integration, acts as a natural antiseptic. What does this mean to us, simple housewives? Do we simply throw out our Benadryl’s and antiseptic creams and just get a bottle of fresh honey for our medicine closet. This truly sounds amazing doesn’t it? I do not know what you think but for me honey appears to be The Miracle Drug. As if all this was not enough, now ladies get ready to throw out your entire collection of fair and lovelies because now you can replace all your beauty products with one can of pure honey. Yippy! Can it can better than this for us. Considering how much we spend every month on skin care products. Honey has the natural property of reducing sun damage and it also acts as a natural moisturizer. I am definitely getting rid of all the products in my vanity case. I can just imagine that smile on my husband’s face; I think it’s worth the try.
Studies done throughout the world has proven time and again the healing properties of honey in medical procedures and day to day lives. Now I think I know why honey seems to be healing my son’s sore throat every time it happens. It is simply because honey kills the bacterium that causes the same. This is stupendous. I am beginning to get a little excited, I am sure so are you.
But Caution!!
Do not give honey to children below the age of one- The reason is Infant botulism
Although honey is very good for practically every illness, there is something called Clostridium Botulinum spores. This is harmful for infants below 1 year of age. Children of that age group are not yet equipped to tackle these spores in their system. Once these spores reach the digestive tract, it can multiply and cause irreversible damage to a child, namely paralysis. This is a fatal nervous disorder. Botulinum toxin is the most poisonous natural substance known to man. The lethal dose is only 0.0000001 mg per kg of body weight -- an amount that would be invisible to the naked eye. This tiny amount in the blood stream can cause death within minutes through paralysis of the muscles used in breathing. (Wikipedia)
By the time the child is over 1 year of age, there are enough beneficial bacteria’s which renders these spores inactive. So if you have an infant suffering from cold, please refrain from using honey, simply consult your doctor.
So to sum it up:
1. Honey reduces allergy symptoms
2. Honey is good for skin
3. Honey has laxative properties
4. Honey kills organism responsible for many ulcers and much abdominal discomfort (J R Soc Med, Jan 1994).
5. Honey reduces the gastritis caused by drinking too much alcohol (Scandinavian Journal of Gastoenterology, Mar 1991).
6. Honey has been proven to decrease the cancer-producing effects of many carcinogens, and to be effective in eradicating yeast (Cytologic Genetics, Nov-Dec 1996).
7. Topical honey is known to be useful in treating gangrene, preventing both death and amputation (Surgery, Feb 1993). Burns heal faster when treated with honey than when treated with Onsite burn dressings (British Journal of Plastic Surgery, Jun 1993).
8. In Russia, honey was even proven to effectively preserve vision when cataracts begin to form in the elderly (Vestn Oftalmol, Nov-Dec 1990).
9. Do not forget contraception ( however this has not been proven, so please do not try this )
However it is important to test honey for purity before you actually buy it. Remember the purest form of honey is the only one that can replace your meds and your face packs. You get all kinds of honey in the market. Look for added ingredients. If it doesn’t have any then it’s good to go. There is another test which you can do. Pure honey doesn’t dissolve in water. Pour a few drops of honey in water and see. If it dissolves it isn’t pure. Pure honey is viscous, so it will settle at the bottom.
So ladies it’s now time to clear your medicine closet
Now we know why a bee is never sick. (Or maybe it doesn’t live long enough to go through any illness, who knows)
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Aisha- The Movie
Aisha is a breath of fresh air amidst all kinds of trash coming out of Bollywood.Aisha may not be a national award winning movie but it is a nice feel good movie. The movies attempts to bring to life Jane Austen's novel Emma. The story is about a upper class Delhi girl, who has to take others problems in her hand. She is sweet but interfering and class conscious. She has no real job, but loves to meddle with others lives. Match making is her favorite hobby. I dont particularly like Sonam Kapoor and her prudish smile, but she was bearable in this movie. Abhay Deol is a darling once again. That guy just exudes so much personality that you can actually imagine him to be an investment banker, the character he plays. The movie hovers around Sonam Kapoor, for obvious reasons, its Anil Kapoor's production house and has been directed by her sister Rhea Kapoor. But Abhay Deol steels the cake with his easy mannerisms and down to earth personality. Ira Dubey plays Pinky Bose, Aisha's best friend in the movie does a pretty decent job too. All in all, i enjoyed the movie for its star cast. Its high profile fashion ensemble, Dior, Louis Vuitton you name it. Fun movie to watch. I think girls will like it a wee bit more than the guys... Sonam might still need to brush up on her acting skills...It is closer to terrible even after four films.
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